||[Apr. 10th, 2005|04:55 pm]
Leaving. When people that I know leave my life, I get sad. Im not talking about the people that are involved in my everyday life, but people I may see off an on, or think about once in a while. But for the most part, I wonder why? Sure I may never see them again, (depending on what type of leaving they are doing, dieing, moving etc). But were they really that much a part of my life in the first place. Does it matter if i dont see them everyday?, no not really. If you are confused, I shall give you an example.. my housemates, sure I may talk to them once in a while, but now that we are all moving and going our seperate ways and may never see each other again. Leaving them, am i really that sad? no, do i feel a sense of loss, not exactely. What do i feel, im not sure. I think about the good times we had, the late night kitchen conversations and the heated house meetings. In situations like this, i hate saying goodbye, because am i supposed to suddenly act as if im really going to miss them? they look at me like they expect a hug. but we weren't really buddy buddy in the first place.. why a hug?? And there's not much to say either, other than goodbye.. hope to see you again sometime is really the only thing I can think of. |
And then there is the loss of family members through death.. your supposed to cry and be sad, but the truth is.. they arent apart of your life anymore.. and not having them is really no deal. Sure if you ever wanted to talk to them you couldn't have.. but really you had that choice before.. and you chose not to. Being sad just because your supposed to feel sad, is what it is really.
sounds kind of cold now that I read it over, but really why do we miss people, why do we grieve over people? not because we feel bad for them, (the.. oh he had so much to live for bullshit) its because we are goign to miss them, we needed them in our life, a piece of our life is missing. very selfish really.